tag:www.peterkaukonen.com,2008:/mt-static//1 2008-05-11T00:59:04Z Movable Type 3.33 tag:www.peterkaukonen.com,2008:/mt-static//1.206 2008-05-11T00:55:14Z 2008-05-11T00:59:04Z

i took the boys to school this mother's day week .... their mother had commitments on the day the preschool observed mother's day, so i filled in .... not that there's anything unusual about my taking the boys to school;...

i took the boys to school this mother's day week .... their mother had commitments on the day the preschool observed mother's day, so i filled in .... not that there's anything unusual about my taking the boys to school; i've been doing it since they started their preschool last september ... did i tell you that one year of preschool, for one boy, costs more than my entire stanford undergraduate career? oh, it's likely that they're learning more at preschool than i did at stanford, but still .... let's see .... september, october, november; december, january, february; march, april ... may .... eight months i've been showing up .... i'm reasonably gregarious, and my medications have usually kicked in by the time i get them to school, so i'm smiling and happy and i say "good morning" to people and .... some of the mothers have yet to acknowledge my presence .... ten years ago my mother was in my living room, on her dying bed .... it was thirteen months after her diagnosis of pancreatic cancer, when she was given six months to live .... my mother was never compliant with anyone's regimen, and we know that doctors are always practising medicine, in the hopes that someday they'll get it right: she went another another seven months, most likely because she could .... three days before she went completely comatose she was transitioning between worlds, sometimes in this one, most often somewhere else .... i sat by her bed, holding her hand, when suddenly i felt her return even before i looked at her .... she gripped my hand in hers and, with a fierce and tender fire, said, "i love you ...." the boys are in different classes at school, and each class had prepared a presentation for the attending mothers .... i have yet to master multiple personality disorder, or temporal fugue, so i sat in kalevi's classroom .... i introduced myself to the woman sitting next to me: hi, i said; i'm kalevi's mom ..... the teacher had orchestrated a song and dance number, to james taylor .... kalevi refused to participate, and i don't think it was a commentary on sweet baby james .... neither would he come near me; he sat on a chair, by himself, and held a stuffed monkey .... did you hear my heart breaking? shortly after that my mother lapsed into the coma from which she did not emerge .... i asked one of the hospice workers when she thought it would happen.... it's close, she said; it's very close .... aside from the obvious, i said, how can you tell? ..... tell me what she was seeing and responding to .... look at the nails, she said; they're turning blue .... that means the blood is leaving the extremities and is pooling in the internal organs.... i'd already noticed that her skin, which had been angry and inflamed and bruised, marred by flea bites and cat scratches (she had two kittens), was now smooth and clear ..... the boys may be twins, but they're so different that i never think of them as twins .... daniel is amiable and cheerful, and takes everything in stride; i imagine that the world will come to him easily, and that people will want his company .... he left his classroom and joined us; kalevi seemed reassured by his brother's presence, and they went to the food table together, loading up on grapes and strawberries .... i slipped out when it was time to go; i sat in the car until i felt i could drive without crying ..... jesus, caretaking's caretaking, but there's a difference between caretaking a dying parent and young children: you know that your role with the parent will come to an end, while there is never an end to being a parent .... oh, i know: all you have to do is be a "good enough" parent; oh, i know: it's a child's duty to overcome their upbringing ..... but still .... ten years ago it was mother's day .... on that mother's day i went out to run errands and, when they were done, i bought a big bouquet of flowers for my mother ..... when i came back to the house she was dead .... i had to touch her to make sure--there'd sometimes been questions in my mind, what with the cheyne-stokes breathing but .... there's never any doubt when you touch flesh that cold ... she seemed so much more peaceful in her death than she had in her dying; her eyes were closed, not angry, and all the tension, all the struggling, had gone out of her with her last breath .... kalevi was fine when i picked them up that afternoon, neither did his teacher seem concerned .... there were other kids who didn't participate, she said; sometimes the younger ones in the class just stand back and let the older ones do things ..... he chattered happily on the drive home, holding a large plastic bonehead dinosaur i'd given him .... i'd also bought little glider bicycles for them, and they'd arrived that afternoon .... this is new technology for kids, learning to balance on a bike without having to contend with pedals ..... they're designed to look like little mountain bikes, although i probably think they look neater than the boys do .... both boys have tricycles and scooters, and love them, and i was pleased to see how quickly kalevi took to his new bike ..... they're both fascinated by guitars and music but, given the choice, i'd rather they went with bicycles .... i had candles burning for my mother through the day and the night .... ten years; my god .... ten years ...... there's a hole there, left by her passing, that will never be filled, neither would i want it to be ..... how do you measure love? if having children and having parents and having family is any indicator, pain is one way ..... but there are, of course, others .... most of the time i remember how special that last year with my mother was; i feel fortunate, i feel blessed, to have had it: it was a special time and a precious gift ..... and i'm not saying that the kids are getting any easier; i don't think that it ever gets easier, the nature of the challenges just change: as soon as you've acclimated yourself to one set of situations, well ..... it's time to learn a new set of rules ..... still, they're now peeing standing up, in the big toilet; their aim's generally good and believe me when i say i was getting tired of sterilizing potties before i brushed my teeth .... and there's more and more for a dad to do, the older they get .... today they wanted to ride bicycles with daddy, so i got on my mountain bike and we looped the driveway, went out onto the sidewalk and up the hill, and then we came back down again ..... and did it all over ..... i used to take my mother out for a mother's day brunch ..... tomorrow, for mother's day, i'll let robin sleep in, then make brunch for her ..... eggs benedict, that's pretty traditional, wouldn't you say? and flowers, of course, only i'll make a bouquet of roses from my garden rather than going to a florist ..... oh my god! i forgot the champagne .... and chocolate! i hope you have a very special day ...... tag:www.peterkaukonen.com,2008:/mt-static//1.205 2008-05-04T16:05:38Z 2008-05-04T16:42:16Z

good morning ..... how's things in your neighborhood? it's an overcast day here, one that would be perfect for long medicational--i mean "meditational"--bike rides up and over mountains, bagging views of forever and beyond--but i'm .... well ..... i'm in...

good morning ..... how's things in your neighborhood? it's an overcast day here, one that would be perfect for long medicational--i mean "meditational"--bike rides up and over mountains, bagging views of forever and beyond--but i'm .... well ..... i'm in the doldrums, suffering from chronic outrage overload ...... i have an editorial series in the works, as well as my standard vituperations ready to roll, but .... i'm just feeling a little overhwelmed by the barrage of bullshit that's disseminated by a corrupt and diseased media .... i'm ..... tired ..... so ........ tired ........... plus i'll be playing a show at the stencho grotesque-o this afternoon, so ..... i'm loading up the rocket car with guitars and amplifiers and i'd much rather be out biking ..... in the old days we played the "reefer circuit ....." all the venues were clouded in the heady aroma of that good old wacky tabacky, and audiences were appropriately receptive .... that turned into the "urinal circuit," where all the stages seemed to be positioned right next to the lavatories .... as the night progessed--and as people's need for access was inversely proportionate to the deterioration of their coordination and aim--the smell of urine and pee cakes wafted across the stage ..... now i seem to be playing the grease circuit, where i get exciting close-ups of people shovelling grease soaked foods into their gaping maws, while the heady bouquet of antique deep fried shit hangs in an oleaginous miasma in the turgid air ..... it's like being in a feed lot: a vista of grinding, chewing, ruminating, salivating, drooling, slobbering, foaming, masticating blank faces ..... god, there are a lot of masticators in the world! excuse me ..... gotta run ...... to the bathroom ....... next: dr. pete bellies up to the trough tag:www.peterkaukonen.com,2008:/mt-static//1.204 2008-04-25T05:03:57Z 2008-05-01T21:24:16Z

i went to a seder last weekend; it's been too long since i've participated, and many thoughts and feelings arose which i will mercifully spare you ..... but it reminded me of any number of things, not the least of...

i went to a seder last weekend; it's been too long since i've participated, and many thoughts and feelings arose which i will mercifully spare you ..... but it reminded me of any number of things, not the least of which is slavery .... seders observe the jews' escape from pharaoh's slavery .... it's a reminder that slavery--in spite of abraham lincoln--still exists; it should remind us that slavery is ubiquitous, and it reminded me that one of the real abominations of slavery is when the slaves become accustomed to it, and accept it .... those of you who actually read these columns can intuit where i might go with this, but it's gratuitous to talk about the enslavement of americans, how they've been enslaved by fear--whether it's fear of bad breath; fear of ring-around-the-collar; fear of not being sexually compelling; fear of armpits; fear of dark-complected others; fear of muslim fundamentalists; fear of lib'rals; fear of homosexuals .... we're way past having nothing to fear but fear itself, because fear is the mainstay of our economy, and we're not in business to go out of business .... synchronously enough, we'd just taken some books out of the library for the boys ..... we do this regularly; the boys have to read because .... ha ha .... we don't have a television and, while they now have an inkling as to who spiderman might be, they've never seen him do his spider thing ..... and no, they can't name the three hundred corporate logos that most americans can identify by the time they're two-and-a-half .... but then, neither can i .... we grab books at random, then read them when we get home .... and one of them was a real zinger, nor did i know what it was about until i was halfway through it .... beautifully illustrated, "the cats in krasinski square" is about the warsaw ghetto, about smuggling food over the walls that surrounded it; about avoiding the gestapo .... and about survival and the will to survive ..... it's a stunning work, one i will add to the permanent collection .... the boys are a little too young to grasp this now, but they will know this .... they will know this story because they will know their history and they will know about heroism and gallantry ..... and they will know about evil ..... and their mother's father was an auschwitz survivor ...... now i hear that the israelis have interrupted the food shipments that the palestinians depend upon for survival; they'll now have no food; no power; no medicines ...... and i'm struck at the turnabout here, a turnabout that once again defibrillates irony ..... hungry people are desparate people; they have nothing left to lose .... we talk about instabilities in the region, as though only political factions create movements, but hunger is a motivating force, a drive, that far exceeds the dissatisfaction of having to pay four dollars a gallon to fill your suv .... and all you have to do is wait for john mcstain to get into office so's he can make permanent the tax cuts that have been so successful for so many happy americans .... now, i may be talking out my ass here--it won't be the first, neither will it be the last, time--but you can't dismiss me or my comments as "anti-semitic ...." the last time i looked, israel was a nation, not a religion; i wish we'd realize the same thing about america .... i've just scanned my nominal media sources for more on this, and can find no mention of it whatsoever; i'll stop here and allow you to draw your own conclusions ..... i'm sure our "media's" intentions are good, and i know they're doing the best to keep us all well informed ..... meanwhile, in the grand tradition of an informative media, n[ational] p[entagon] r[adio] had an insightful discussion of petraeus' promotion to commander of centcom, the whole kit'n'kaboodle-clusterfuck out there .... he'll be replacing admiral fallon, who "retired" over "disagreements" with the bush "policy" in "iraq ....." it was an enlightening discussion, in the grand tradition of our impartial and dispassionate "media" ..... it was a discussion between a general from the army and a general from the marines .... the army general thought it was a really really really great thing, while the marine thought it was just a really really great thing ...... i''m very grateful for differing points of view; they're so .... so ..... thought provoking ..... i apologize for this drivel .... i shouldn't even be writing this; i should be practising for my appearance at the earth day festival in placerville, this saturday, april 26th ..... while i'll be performing solo, i've got to say that the peter kaukonen trio is playing alarmingly well, something that i can attribute to drugs ..... no .... ha ha .... i don't mean like that, silly .... i mean, i had a cortisone injection in my arthritic fretting hand, and it's pain-free! pain free! free, i tell you! free at last! i still play like shit, but at least it doesn't hurt any more ..... next: dr. pete gets a cortisone high colonic tag:www.peterkaukonen.com,2008:/mt-static//1.203 2008-04-22T17:04:10Z 2008-05-01T21:24:42Z

i'll apologize in advance for a disjointed scattered dispirited chickenfeed commentary; i just got overwhelmed--not by the demands of young children or recording or bicycling long distances; i got overwhelmed by the non-stop barrage of bullshit that you'd think would...

i'll apologize in advance for a disjointed scattered dispirited chickenfeed commentary; i just got overwhelmed--not by the demands of young children or recording or bicycling long distances; i got overwhelmed by the non-stop barrage of bullshit that you'd think would have the hoi poloi running to the barricades, brandishing pitchforks and shit shovels ..... but no .... it's just business as usual in this great land of ours ...... i mean, these are just some of the turd sprinkles on the shit frosting of america's poo-poo cake of life: co-payments soar for drugs with high prices that, oddly enough, are necessary to save or prolong life .... people can no longer .... ha ha .... afford essential medications .... that's today's insurance company .... why would they ever provide a service other than make unhinging profits by denying services? retail chains are caught in a wave of bankruptcies .... long-established businesses fold under the weight of the credit crunch and the sub-prime meltdown .... oklahoma has a bad record for foster care; where is there a decent fucking record? god, i started having flashbacks to my county mental health days, and my apocalyptic encounters with child protective services ..... mccain's budget plan is to not balance the budget but to provide more tax cuts .... jesus .... "The drug maker Merck drafted dozens of research studies for a best-selling drug, then lined up prestigious doctors to put their names on the reports before publication, according to an article to be published Wednesday in a leading medical journal." "Consumer groups say the housing relief bill is adding up to a bailout for big businesses, as automakers and airlines stand to gain billions of dollars in tax relief. Critics say the housing relief bill is adding up to a bailout for businesses, as the legislation includes billions of dollars in tax breaks for automakers and airlines." a recent washington post had hollywood celeb gossip on the front page but, oddly enough, the word "iraq" did not appear on the front page .... the supreme court rules that a "three drug protocol" to kill someone does not constitute "cruel and unusual punishment;" the supreme court's ruling coincides with a papal visit, with bush stating his unity with the papacy on abortion, stem cell research, and homosexuality .... the pope visited, giving bush a chance to talk about life affirming values; life is replete with ironies, isn't it?..... is this the pope that was the concentration camp guard? or just hitler youth? lots of coverage about his stance on priestly "abuse ...." one abuse victim talked to the pope and said, "there's a cancer in your church, mr. pope .... and you've got to cut it out ...." he knelt down in front of the pope ...."the pope held out his hand to me .... i thought he was going to ask me to kiss his ring while i genuflected but ... he fumbled underneath his robes, and the next thing i knew, he was holding his penis in his hand .... he held my head with his other hand .... i couldn't believe what a grip he had for an old man! he forced my head toward his penis and .... and .... he kept calling out "oh jesus! oh jesus!" ..... and ....." and here the interview ends ..... ha ha .... no .... just kidding, of course .... i'm sure their intentions are good ..... bill hicks said, "don't you just love some guy bouncing around in the popemobile? four feet of bulletproof glass? there's faith in action .... don't you feel that that's the real spokesperson for god?" lots of negative coverage about that filthy osama i mean obama who was in elitist san francisco where they don't eat out of troughs and his horrifying comments about americans who cling to religion and guns after the factories have pulled out, their children have been slaughtered in illegal, immoral unilateral invasions of sovereign nations that pose no threat other than their reluctance to be anal submissive to major corporations which is something this country will never be; their pensions have evaporated; they've been evicted because they couldn't meet their mortgage payments but bankruptcy is no longer an option thanks to bankruptcy laws that were written by banking and credit card lobbyists; they can't afford medications and have no health coverage even though all their elected representives in congress and the senate are afforded superlative health coverage without cost in what one might almost .... ha ha .... think of as .... get this .... socialized medicine; and how dare that f*cking ni**er suggest that there are inequalities or any kind of dissatisfaction in this the best of all possible countries that g*d has ch*sen as h*s most personal favorite i wonder who g*d's putting money on to win the w*rld s*ries g*d definitely plays f*vorites j*s*s f*cking chr*st let me think is bush an elitist went to harvard his father sure was couldn't even tell you what a gallon of milk cost did you hear me shrieking when i paid $5.25 for a gallon yesterday? why don't we just drink fucking gasoline it'd be a whole lot cheaper i've got two boys and they drink a fuck of a lot of milk you know what that comes to every week i should just buy a fucking cow i've got enough space for it in my backyard does that make me an elitist? i could be a cowboy america reveres and idolizes people who are dirty, illiterate, bereft of social graces--george bush comes to mind and so does ronald reagan--and hip deep in the excreta of barnyard animals if they weren't indeed dick-deep in them ..... makes ya proud to be a murkin boy where's ya lapel pin? the new jerk's climes reports that "military experts," former military personnel, promulgate pentagon pro-war and anti-life views on television networks, presented to the bovine populace as "experts ...." gee, that sure is a surprise, isn't it? i'm sure they're impartial and would never exhibit any kind of bias let alone get a woody when advocating undertaking military action or lobbying for more money above and beyond the sixty four percent of america's gross national product that the pentagon already gets, not to mention the black bag sources of funding that aren't reported or the unilateral illegal and immoral invasion of a sovereign nation that never posed any threat to us whatsoever the three trillion dollars that we're dropping there doesn't show up on any budget whatsoever although king george likes to ask for more money regularly can i have my allowance now i want more money i need lighter fluid so i can set fire to the cat and the democrats trip over their tiny little dicks how do they do that when their dicks are so small? to give him more money to kill people and that's why i like him meeting with the pope and affirming the values of morality and life and good stuff like that we now know even though you knew it a long time ago that rice and cheney and rumsfeldt and powell and tenet and ashcroft all got together and said let's torture people and they told george we want to torture people and george said "cool!" but that's not an issue for us the media wno't touch that and now we're worried about obama's bowling score can someone who's a shit bowler torture people i mean be commander in chief who better to discuss the values of torture with than the pope the church has a long and hallowed tradition of torturing people i bet we could learn a lot from them why don't we move everyone from gitmo over to the vatican and we'd be done with the whole fucking kit'n'kaboodle .... why, now the new york times has a general telling us that "By about 2011 there is going to be some pretty good capacity in the Afghan National Army,” he said in an interview in the Kabul headquarters of the International Security Assistance Force. “It will take them a few more years to get their air transport and air support platforms online, but they should be covering a lot of battle space by some time in 2011, in my view,” he said. By then, barring any cataclysm, the countries contributing troops to the international force could look at whether such a large international force was still desirable, General McNeill said. “I think you begin to get to a juncture and say, ‘Probably not, maybe we should be starting to change the way this force works,’ ” he said. you know, this all makes me tired .... by 2011 it'll have been what? ten years since we dropped into afghanistan to say hello? how long were the russians there? how much more success can a body stand, that's what i'm wondering .... i seriously can't stand to sit down and write this shit non-stop; the abominations are incessant, they keep coming in, you have to embrace irony so hard you can't even breathe and i finally came up with the answer to "how is it that the "media" betrays us by spreading a patina of horsehit and lies over or moribund faces of the glassy-eyed masses sleeping through life staring at the teevee" and the answer is ..... because they're incredibly corrupt .... next: dr. pete lies down ..... tag:www.peterkaukonen.com,2008:/mt-static//1.202 2008-04-12T15:26:18Z 2008-04-12T16:14:18Z

it's a beautiful day here in the neighborhood, still cool enough to turn my breath into little puffs of steam but you can tell by the sun's low golden light that it'll be warm soon enough .... not hot, mind...

jinral i shore dew wanna thank yew fer all yore se'fless service to this kuntry lordy lordy lordy i shore feel sayfer knowin' that gawd has blessed this kuntry with a manly man like yorese'f i ayum jus' so AWE-struck bein' in the praysunce of sumwun whooz so responsibul risponsibul fer the deths of so many mayuns 'n' mah goo'ness i jus' LUV all the littul dangly doodleybugs you got on yore yewniform well ha ha i get hot 'n' wet when i see a uniferm i like meeter mayds too" honest to god years ago touring i'd expect a little oral gratification before after and during a show but this shamelessly debased crawling was outright fucking embarrasing and then there were the quotidien questions like "general should we kill all the democrats or put them in camps because they have stood between us and victory in iraq?" and i always like the generic "how can we ask the soldiers that have died to have died in vain if we were to not let any more of them die," like the the dead get lonely and want company and the only thing that gives death meaning is more death, and i mean a shitload more, i guess we define "patriotism" as "we need more people to die, theirs and ours" you're not a patriot unless you're a caterpillar operator digging mass graves one thing you can count on with republicans is more death it's just like the spanish fascists who strutted around shrieking "viva la muerta! viva la muerta!" and i shouldn't have to translate that for you let alone explain it to you but the one question i wanted to have asked petraeus and crocker, well .... no one asked it, and that question is: what is it like to be such a lying fucking asshole? because i'd really like to know .... honest to god, our occupation of iraq is like old people fucking: it's horrible to watch and there's no positive outcome in sight .... and, like old people fucking, if things are going badly you don't want to pull out and .... if things are going well you don't want to pull out ...... either way you're stuck in a stinking fuckhole until everything's wrinkled and chafed and rubbed red and raw and it's all oozing clear lymphatic fluids but you never get to come .... out ..... then of course there's the olympic torch .... now i don't want to politicize an event that's ... ha ha .... never had any political implications whatsoever .... ha ha ..... but i find it interesting that the "protesters" who object to the eradification of a culture that's had a boot up its ass for over fifty years got more coverage now than the three quarters of a million folk who took to the streets just prior to the launching of an illegal immoral unilateral genocidal invasion of a sovereign nation without provocation that's resulted in the dislocation of four million people, a trillion dollar price tag and rising; 4,032 soldiers dead and rising; 750,000 iraqis dead and rising; 30,000 americans wounded and rising .... but i'm sure the 'media's' intentions are good .... meanwhile, i keep hearing about today's new bogeymen we should be very very very afraid of--because what would life be like if we didn't have a bogeyman to make us live in fear--and they include eee-ran, which we're told--and i know "they" wouldn't lie to us .... ha ha ..... is making the missiles that have killed guys inside our impregnable green zone probably because they couldn't get served at the mcdonald's there and then there's the radical cleric muktada el sadr who just thumped the poopoo out of government forces which proves that the iraqis are standing up while we stand down and taking charge along with the thousand or so that just said "fuck it i'm outta here" and left that shows what autonomy they have now thanks to us and i don't know why he's always the "radical cleric" instead of just being "the cleric ...." what makes him radical? i've never been told, but it seems like he's a power player who doesn't always do what we want which, i guess, is pretty radical when you're used to having people's noses wedged firmly between your butt cheeks huffing the crude exhalations of your musty sphincter, the stench of your rectal air .... boy, do i have an excremental vision, or what? it isn't like we don't have radical clerics of our own: pat robertson, he's a radical cleric, but no one ever calls him that; james hagee, mccain's good bud, he's a very very radical cleric, but no one ever calls him that and if they do they disappear, real quick; falwell was a radical cleric; dobson's way beyond being a radical cleric; jim bakker was a radical cleric, but a fun kinda guy, and i always did like tammy faye's radical eye makeup; there's no shortage of 'em in this country, and they're all satan's jizz stains on the satin sheets of compassion and humanity, but ... ha ha .... no one in this country ever calls them radical .... still, it's important to count your blessings and to find things to be thankful for .... i'm grateful that i'm not flying this week .... well, any week i don't fly is a good week, fitting the terrorist profile as i do: white male, sixty-two years old; long hair; comprehensively tattooed; carrying guitars and twin boys .... if that doesn't ring the profiles, i don't know what does .... oh, i forgot: titanium shoulder ..... that gets 'em goin' every time but ... i've learned something .... i tell 'em i'm a drug lord and that i work for the cia, and they just wave me on my way .... still, 3,400 cancelled american airlines flights and 270,000 .... mmmm .... disgruntled passengers because the f.a.a. wants to inspect planes that should have been inspected a long time ago and it just goes to prove one thing, and that thing is ..... how government interferes with commerce and people's lives when it gets involved in regulation or oversight; best we just let the marketplace regulate itself ..... excuse me ..... the nta wants to inspect my mountain bike, and i don't want 'em to ...... next: dr. pete gets inspected ]]> tag:www.peterkaukonen.com,2008:/mt-static//1.201 2008-04-05T16:40:14Z 2008-04-12T15:25:26Z

reading the "news" is always character building .... way way back i used to read marvel comics, about imaginary fictional characters with special powers but all-too-human failings .... there was spiderman, teenage angst and glandularity, fighting criminals and blue balls;...

looking like he's doing something" (italics mine) ..... jesus .... they have no shame, do they? at least he's being honest; republicans have never made a virtue of substance or competency, but looking like something is critical to them, witness ronald "this is what happens when howdy doody gets alzheimer's" reagan but amurka loved him 'cause that's what a president looks like jesus if that's what a president looks like then i've got a pail full of rectal blood and vomit i'm going to nominate for a republican presidential candidate that man was so fucking stupid he couldn't find his nose with his finger unless he'd stuck it up his ass and used the scent of shit to guide it in for a landing ....... and paulson's telling us that we can't use the word "recession" because it's a technical term .... oh, okay; hemorrhoidal tissue is a technical term, too, but i feel perfectly qualified to apply it to assholes ..... notice they're saying we're having the worst economic crisis since world war II .... ha ha ..... they don't dare say since the great depression--which it is--because then even the american sheeple might stop chewing their cud long enough to put two and two together and realize how badly they're being fucked ...... speaking of assholes, we've had our annual "let's ask but be real polite while we do it although we may bluster a little just to make people think we're not on the pad and have our noses so far up the oil companies' asses that our eyes and ears are as brown as the oil sludge in prudhoe bay after the exxon valdez ran aground but i think exxon's paid enough don't you" "investigation" of oil company "profits" and you'll be glad to hear that exxon needs that money to explore alternative sources of energy like opening up the continental shelf to drilling for oil which is an alternative energy source because it hasn't been drilled yet and another alternative source is the hot air that comes out of everyone's mouth as they testify to their good intentions and find new ways to explain appalling greed just like their fuckbuddys in congress talk about spinmesiters they're all running around like a squirrel hit in the head by an eighteen-wheeler just gyrating madly in a diaphanous cloud of spittle tail fluffed out honest to god it's spring so it's time to have another hearing and i've just seen an ad for a mercedes and its copy is "longer lower leaner .... meaner" and fucking god did you hear my shrieking what the fuck is WRONG with us this is our design breakthrough the selling point for the affluent it has to be bigger and take up more space and it has to be meaner because that's how we want to be seen we're mean don't mess with me motherfucker that's my parking place i need to get my nails done and shop i'm fighting terrorism by shopping and paying $4.05 per gallon for my mean mean mercedes it's a lovely day here in the neighborhood i'm taking my glock to my local high school i want to be a teenage gunman i want to be mean and fearsome and make it seem like my meaningless inconsequential trivial superflous existence has some meaning you know if this shit happens in the 'hood it isn't news at all is it who cares i'm going to ride my bike up the fucking coast but i'm taking my grenade launcher with me just to clear the cocksuckers out of the way don't fuck with me i'm mean and walk with god's infinite love have a nice day ....... next: dr. pete hugs a wombat ]]> tag:www.peterkaukonen.com,2008:/mt-static//1.200 2008-04-01T15:11:13Z 2008-04-12T15:25:46Z

i heard john mcstain giving a speech the other day, something about government not being "sensitive to the needs or demands of its citizens ...." mcstain's the least likely candidate for sensitivity training i can imagine, other than boy george,...

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/03/31/opinion/31krugman.html?hp ....... i see the iraqis are going to spend six billion dollars buying a fleet of airplanes from boeing because .... ha ha .... all their planes were destroyed by .... ha ha ..... us ..... don't you think we could have saved a lot of time and bother and unpleasantness if we'd just forked over six billion bucks to boeing? kind of cut out the middleman? in one of our traditional no-bid contract deals? and i see that ford motor company, descendants of henry ford who created the automobile industry in the first place, whose very first cars got better gas mileage than the ones they make now, is going to sell ..... well .... let me put it in reverse here for a moment, and back up .... a while back ford had to buy some english motorcar companies because .... well ..... because they were bitchin' and it sounded neat and it would give them panache and a cachet because holy fucking god the pinto sucked rocks and the mustang got hoof and mouth and was sent off to the knackers .... so ford bought jaguar and landrover but .... ha ha .... they're not making enough money on them, although i think they're selling enough right here in marin county to keep 'em afloat i think it's great you can get a safari-bred vehicle like a landrover you never know when you're going to encounter hostile natives when you want to park in front of your spa and someone's taken your place in front of the spa, you know the one that has the little blue placard on it with the white wheel it's there just for you and usually you can slide right in without spilling your bottled water or interrupting your telephone conversation four wheel drive sure comes in handy on the rugged roads of mill valley it's always an adventure driving here and i'm not making that up i carry a can of mace with me when i ride bicycle on the road i think of it as "yuppie off" or "beemer scat" or just basically as asshole repellent although it doesn't go through a car's windshield as neatly as a .44 magnum does still you should see their faces when i pull alongside of them and spray that red juice down the driver's window i've got to dance in and out quickly because they tend to swerve but what i wanted to say was ..... ford's selling jaguar and landrover to india's tata motor comopany ..... nice tatas, that's what i'm thinkin'; nice tatas ...... and i can't help but think, boy, it's about time our ceo's got another raise or more stock options because they're doing a bang-up job, all right when the market regulates itself and companies give the people what they want like a good anal fisting rectal penetration with large angular unlubricated objects and whole cities go belly up and industries have to move over to dubai where slave labor is so convenient just don't let those chile-chokin' taco-twistin' folks come in here to pick lettuce or fruit those'r jobs us good native americans want to do native americans whose mammys and pappys came over from germany or ireland or italy or england or scotland or other foreign places like iowa or new jersey or west virginia those'r all people who want to pick some lettuce or some strawberries they grow real nice strawberries in iowa it's a great place to grow except for the groundwater kind of sullied with all the hawg farm runoff that nitrate stuff it's pretty stinky but archer daniel midlands is a green business they make a lot of green and ..... you get the idea ..... meanwhile, we've finally turned the corner in iraq and those iraqis are handling their own security except for the aerial sorties we made on their behalf that'll all change of course when they buy their own planes and we've taken back baghdad for the well i've just lost track of how many times we've won the war you know? and then of course there was the shelling inside the "heavily fortified" green zone which is where you can buy mcdonald's and you can say "hold the shrapnel on that please"and honest to god, the first thing that came to me was ..... doesn't anyone remember the tet offensive? next: dr. pete masticates ]]> tag:www.peterkaukonen.com,2008:/mt-static//1.199 2008-03-25T18:04:27Z 2008-03-25T18:17:43Z

i had the radio on this easter morning while i was fixing breakfast for the kids; i told them the easter rabbi was coming, and i was cooking up some bacon for him, when i actually heard what was on...

N)ationally(P)retentious(R)egurgitation had two pieces juxtaposed that had me slack-jawed with disbelief, until i realized that ... ha ha .... i was in america, where good taste and common sense are scattered as sparsely as teeth in a platypus ..... anyway, one was a ha ha delightfully ducksy-wucksy fuzzy-bunny cutesy piece about how much fun the army can be, featuring .... elvis presley! the other was about saddened parents, shocked that their high school son enlisted in the army ... and got killed .... thank god for high school kids .... they don't teach much about death in high school .... they don't have courses on how to stuff your intestines back in your body cavity only your hands got blown off and anyway your head's fifty feet down the road, in a pool of burning gasoline .... great stuff to hear on easter morning, and the only thing i could think of was .... the king is risen! long live the king! but .... jesus has left the building ..... i see that five years after our unilateral illegal amoral invasion of a sovereign nation that posed no threat to us whatsoever except that it had nationalized oil and wouldn't just hand it over to exxon, bp, chevron, and royal dutch shell, we've now officially topped 4,000 dead soldiers (but who gives a shit about the six hundred thousand ir*qis killed in the last five years not to even think about mentioning the ones who died during the sanction years for lack of medicines yada yada yada yada shut up you l*beral bleeding heart whiner fuck you) who won't be rising again but, if i'm to believe cheney--and you know i do, you know i do--it's all worth it and the 70% of the american peeple who are no longer wildly enthusiastic about whatever it is that's going on over there only i'm not quite sure what it might be because we don't get to see any of our guys getting hurt any more not like veet nam where lots of people got hurt and we saw it happening, right while we were hunkered over our tv dinners exept i didn't have a tv not even back then those people are just a focus group and who pays attention to focus groups at least that's what cheney says and there's a man who has to be taken seriously .... speaking of taking people seriously ..... i think i might have to take obama seriously ..... you know i don't do television but .... i watched and listened to obama's speech, the one in which he sought to address america's concerns that he might have some connection to a religious figure espousing radical and inflammatory views which you know we don't tolerate in this country, certainly not from our religious figureheads, because we're so tolerant of religious freedoms and i'm wondering if the storms in the midwest are a result of god's being angry with john mccain for getting confused about shia and sunni especially now that all hell's breaking loose once again over there and rockets are landing in the green zone and it looks like the cease fire with the mahdi army might be over although i know the splurge is working because security is so much better since most of the people who could cause trouble have been killed and there's nothing as peaceful as a dead man they never give nobody no trouble ha ha but i'm thinking whatever happens in the midwest with those forty displaced wh*te p*ople'll be rectified much more swiftly than the rectumification that didn't happen for the thousands of bl*ck folk down in n'orleans and .... oh .... sorry .... i was digressing ..... obama's speech was really impressive, and i'm not making this up .... it was impressive because it had content: it was thoughtful, sequential, and deliberate; it was measured, adult, and literate; it didn't insult my intelligence, which is saying a lot because i take offense just watching politicians open their mouths; it didn't pimp, patronize, or pander; it was serious and it had a serious message. and i'm thinking ... that boy's fucked .... because that all constitutes strikes against him because it'll slide right by the american sheeple, conditioned as they are into frenetic pavlovian slobber and stultified oblivion by fox news and madison avenue and the national enquirer and the white house press corpse ..... and it was impressive because it forcibly reminded me that obama is from a different generation, and that--stuck as i am in my own generational amber--i overlook the changes that have happened because i focus on the changes that still need to be made .... but it was impressive as a performance piece as well, and by that i mean .... the man spoke for thirty-six minutes without obviously referring to notes .... teleprompter? perhaps, but ..... his eyes never flickered to a prompter, not that i could see, while his tone, inflection, and timbre were consistent with his message and ..... i couldn't believe that this man was running for a major political office, not in this country ..... you know, in my psych days i'd look for mood being congruent with affect, which means .... if someone is talking about death, murder, and mayhem, but they're laughing and carefree, mood and affect aren't congruent, so you start to look for pathology .... just like .... ha ha .... our current president, who finds endless shits and giggles in genocide, mass murder, and global economic catastrophes but ..... not with obama .... my musician's ear--the one that still kind of works--and my psych background were pretty impressed ..... there's a downside to this, of course ..... we are continually betrayed by our "media ...." you know, i really don't give much of a scabrous rat's ass about whether or not our politicians are having affairs or chipping on their wives or fucking their dogs .... no, call me callow, but ... i really don't ..... and ever columnar inch of space given to a politician's putative infidelities is attention diverted from catastrophes in tibet or in baghdad or on wall street or on main street ..... ms. clinton seems to be conflating her bona fides, her experience with foreign policy--like that ever meant shit for a republican candidate--and the democratic squabbling over square inches of sandbox turf deflect attention from the idiocies, inconsistencies, and gross misqualifications of that cyborg, mccain .... although that straight-talkin' lobbyist-humpin' payoff-takin' maverick-y septuagenarian kinda fun guy is gonna get a pass from our press, regardless of what he does ..... he could assfuck puppies while joe liebermann held 'em still but squealin', and he'd become the spca poster boy of the month .... so .... what's the point, dr. pete? whatever is the point? i guess the point is, i'm feeling some sense of urgency to stop dicking around and get things under way ..... i don't know about you, but i'm really tired of decades of the living dead in office and ..... etc. etc. etc. .... yada yada yada ....... next: dr. pete puts on the rubber gloves ..... ]]> tag:www.peterkaukonen.com,2008:/mt-static//1.198 2008-03-19T18:11:49Z 2008-03-19T18:17:26Z

this is already a horrific week, it's only just begun, and i've got random scattered thoughts because i'm a random scattered kinda guy .... here are just a few ..... what can you say about the bear stearns bail-out? .......

never having to say you're sorry .... and now it's five years since the unilateral illegal amoral invasion of iraq ... we're really winning now; let's see ... it's taken five years to win this much and do this well so, at this rate, we'll be there another hundred years, just like mccain says ..... well .... ha ha ..... all our permanent bases were no indication that we ever had any intention of leaving, especially when we're getting so far ahead of the game why quit now do we have a tally on how many of our sodjers have dide and how many are woonded and what it'll cost us bush says it's expensive but it's worth it because soddom who's sane was a bad man and gittin' him was and will alwayz be the rite thing to do oh the economy's bad but not that bad maybe we should go shopping like we did after 9/11 i'd like to find something not made in china that i could buy to support the troops but .... ha ha .... i can't ..... honest to god it gets harder and harder to write anything anymore; i'd rather be riding my bike back country, far away from the madding crowds and the lying cocksuckers and fucking idiots that so abound .... let's see .... where did i just see a picture of the bombardment of baghdad, captioned "mesmerizing shock and awe!" ..... what an assmunch .... it wasn't mesmerizing: it was horrific and terrifying and murderous and why don't we call nagasaki "scintillating" or dresden "lyrical" ..... oh .... of course ..... for the placid bovine multitudes, sucking down their x-treem x-tra lite lo-carb all-natural beer while shovelling high-fructose heavily salted snacky chips into their corpulent insatiable maws, or masticating shugger fuckies, glazed and dazed by "reality" television there's a concept ha ha reality television ha ha i think i'm going to go for a bike ride and get some reality bike riding in but if you're an asshole then you believe all this stuff i guess and aren't we coming up to easter, celebrating the death and resurrection of christ? by telling our children that a giant rabbit left chocolate eggs? no wonder people think we're "winning the war ....." thank you bill hicks; we sure miss you ..... i'm really pressed to write anything coherent; it's a shameful fucking time and i can't stand it ..... i'm going riding .... and then i'm going hiding ..... next: dr. pete sleeps with the dust bunnies ]]> tag:www.peterkaukonen.com,2008:/mt-static//1.197 2008-03-15T04:36:31Z 2008-03-15T04:51:24Z

have we had fun with elliot spitzer? boy, did that bring out the beast in people, or what? republicans and capitalist scumfucks feasted on schadenfreude, while others trotted out their little agendae, looking for a predetermined learning outcome in a...

that come from? the antipodes, of course .... the point is that guys need to control the pussy: horndogs want to control it and put it to use, while repressed perverted republicans want to control it so it doesn't get used .... well, at least not by anyone else .... either way, it's a power trip for the guys, but it's like oil .... it's a commodity, and whoever has it can put it up for sale ..... you could extrapolate .... pussy rules the world, although it doesn't get paid accordingly ..... still, why is it always a "high priced prostitute?" they just smell better? because they can bathe between tricks? they're not doing it behind dumpsters? or in parked cars? okay, i'm naive, but .... i marvel how our government will not and cannot--on philosophical and moral grounds--monitor or regulate industries that pollute our air and our water; cannot and will not monitor or regulate industries making a killing .... ha ha ..... off of pharmaceuticals (with the price of health care and health insurance these days, it's a darn good thing all the pharmaceuticals have ended up in our ground water; that's healthcare delivery at its finest!); cannot and will not regulate industries that mishandle finance; industries that sell insurance; industries that ..... but our government wants to know what's going into and out of your pussy ..... yes, george bush wants to privatize your pussy ..... don't you think it's interesting that insurance pays for viagra? but not for abortion? an abortion is way cheaper than preschool these days; my stanford undergraduate career cost a fraction of what just one of my kid's preschool costs .... okay, so they're learning far more in preschool than i did at stanford, but still ..... it's not a justifiable assumption that every sex worker was abused; some of my very good friends were sex workers, and they weren't abused .... why, they were very much like an investment banker friend: worked really hard, made a lot of money .... and retired .... i'm told that there have been over a million hits on what's-her-name's myspace page .... i figure she'll do well in the music industry .... tha'ts where it really helps to be a whore .... it's an asset in politics, too ..... but ... ha ha ..... being a hooker and a musician, it's about the same, only just a little different ..... first you do it because you like it ..... then you start doing it for your friends .... then you figure, hey, i wanna get paid for this ..... the fearless reporters of our intrepid media will now follow what's-her-name far beyond her allotted fifteen minutes of fame ..... eeeeeeeeee! is it shaved? eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee ........ for that kind of money it better be ..... but ...... we're missing some really important events ..... like we don't usually .... but ..... have you been following the resignation of admiral fallon? kind of missed that, didn't you? anyone in the bay area catching "winter soldier" on kpfa? y'all can go to kpfa.org and check it out .... and how about wall street and the fed? let's see .... i'm told that the market dropped 1500 points, came back 140, so we're recovering ..... now the fed is scrambling to cover bear stearns ..... which means that the 'murkin taxpayers are going to do another massive bailout, the likes of which we haven't seen since neil bush looted the silverado savings and loan, john mccain was part of the keating five, ronald reagan was drooling on his desk, george h. w. bush had stepped from the cia to being vice-president my god it's the same old fucking cast of predatory corrupt evil fucks then as it is now what do you fucking have to do drive a fucking stake through their evil black hearts shove garlic into the chest cavities and surround them with mirrors and i can't remember how many billions of dollars that cost us to let the free market regulate itself .... you think the iraq debacle is going to bleed us all dry? well, you're right, but when you add the mortgage and credit crises, the results of the market ..... ha ha .... ho ho .... regulating itself we're all going to be bled so dry that a vampire with anemia is going to look like george hamilton coming off his tanning bed compared to the rest of us ..... excuse me ..... someone's knocking at my door ..... i think it's either annette, from the gentleman's nanny service .... or count dracula, with a sun lamp ..... next: dr. pete gets waxed]]> tag:www.peterkaukonen.com,2008:/mt-static//1.196 2008-03-09T18:44:35Z 2008-03-09T18:45:04Z

this is a shameful time in american history, and there's no shortage of shameful times ..... christ, we're only three months into the new year and we're peaking on shameful .... the media has reduced--and obama and clinton are complicit--the...

this is a shameful time in american history, and there's no shortage of shameful times ..... christ, we're only three months into the new year and we're peaking on shameful .... the media has reduced--and obama and clinton are complicit--the democratic presidential candidate's selection process to a cat fight, far beneath the dignity of a high school's student office campaign, although i'm not surprised that seventeen-year-old high school students are more dignified than our political candidates ..... while those two go hiss hiss meow meow at one another, that shit-handling mccain gets a free ride from the press .... keating five? yawn ..... on the take from lobbyists? snore ..... meanwhile, our fearless press still throws around shit words like "harsh interrogation techniques" or "tough interrogation techniques ....." i'm sorry .... were you .... ha ha .... talking about americans torturing people? jesus ..... excuse me .... i must go puke arterial blood into the potty ...... so today he actually vetoed the bill that would ... ha ha .... outlaw waterboarding .... our "news" "reporters" on "[N]ationally [P]uking [R]evolting" said that bush did it because he "didn't want to compromise his ability to fight terror ...." that's such fucking horseshit .... why don't they just come out and say it? he wants to be able to pull the wings off of flies and set fire to kittens .... why, this is the compassionately conservative cocksucker that never met a n*g**r or sp*k or r*tar*d wh*te tr*sh that he wouldn't send to the chair or line up for a lethal injection .... come out and say it, you chickenshit fucks: we executed n*ps after the second world war because they .... mmmm .... used 'harsh' techniques on us ..... we strung up a bunch of kra*ts too, and, just for the record, waterboarding isn't "simulated drowning:" it's a near death experience, without the white light and the heavenly choir and the crapture ..... the knee jerk crimes says: "President Bush shut down a Congressional effort to limit harsh interrogation techniques, cementing a legacy of fighting for strong executive powers." gee, guys .... maybe you'd get more oxygen to your brain and think more clearly if you didn't have your collective heads so far up a republican's ass .... this doesn't cement his "legacy of fighting for strong executive powers:" this just reaffirms what so many of us have known for so long: he's a monstrous cretinous retarded sadistic fuck who's really put this country in touch with its roots: mass murder, genocide, greed, corruption, warmongering, saber rattling, and rampant assholism .... legacy my fucking ass ..... but here's another puker fer ya: the democrats will grant amnesty to the telecoms .... gee .... who could ever have seen that one comin' down the pike? thank god our economy's doing really well, and fortunately we've allowed the banks and credit card companies to rewrite bankruptcy laws so that .... ha ha ..... no one will ever go bankrupt, ever again! next: dr. pete eschews sophomoric sarcasm tag:www.peterkaukonen.com,2008:/mt-static//1.195 2008-03-05T15:40:37Z 2008-03-05T15:41:44Z

the republicraps have theyse'ves a candidate, pretty much in the tradition of republicrap candidates for the last too many years .... we've heard a lot about how "experience" is going to be important for our president .... i'm not sure...

the republicraps have theyse'ves a candidate, pretty much in the tradition of republicrap candidates for the last too many years .... we've heard a lot about how "experience" is going to be important for our president .... i'm not sure what's meant by this: experience kissing corporate ass? following orders from halliburton? experience sucking up to the pharmaceutical or insurance lobbies? when we got "w" -- and now we know that "w" stands for "worst fucking republican tool ever in a long line of disastrous fucking assholes", boy, we sure tanked out on experience, and it shore has payd off, fer us 'n' thayum .... why, dubbel-ewe was experienced in bankrupting and crashing all his business ventures, and that's experience that's stood him in good stead as he's bankrupted the country .... as governor of texas he got experience sending more people to the chair than anyone before him and you know texas ain't no shrinkin' violet when it comes to killing uneducated psychotic people of a darker complexion .... and boy oh boy, have we ever got our money's worth on that one! but the republicraps have a role model of a higher ordure ....i mean, order ..... and that's when they run a seventy-year-old cretinous howdy doody lookalike who made alzheimer's a virtue and now they've gone and got theyse'ves another septuagenarian who's now saying that whoever gets into that oval office is going to have to figure out how to get out of eye-rak even though last week he was saying he din't care if we were there for ten years no make that one hundred years shit he wouldn't be alive to see it so why should he give a fuck? fortunately we're building a fence to keep the nannies and gardeners from driving old pickup trucks with lawnmowers and leaf blowers into federal office buildings .... or, at the very least, stuffing old diapers into the air vents of the department of justice .... honest to god, folks .... i just can't write this crap any more .... i really can't .... i can't make it up, it's more oppressive every fucking day, and we don't seem to get any fucking smarter .... oh, and don't get up on your fucking high horse and say, oooooooooooooo, doctor pete .... can't you just .... not say "fuck" so much? fuck that ..... you've got to SHRIEK fuck ALL these fucking fucks when you read shit like this in the knee jerk crimes: "President Bush said Monday that telecommunications companies should be thanked, not sued, for helping the government conduct warrantless wiretapping in the U.S. after the Sept. 11 attacks. Telecom companies face around 40 lawsuits for their alleged role in wiretapping their American customers. "Should these lawsuits be allowed to proceed, or should any company that may have helped save American lives be thanked for performing a patriotic service?" Bush said after meeting at the White House with the National Association of Attorneys General. "Should those who stepped forward to say we're going to help defend America have to go to the courthouse to defend themselves, or should the Congress and the president say thank you for doing your patriotic duty? I believe we ought to say thank you," he said. "I urge the full House to pass this legislation as soon as possible," Bush said. "I know we need to have the private carriers available to provide information." "There's a lot of legal complexities on the FISA renewal debate, but the real issue comes down to this: To defend the country, we need to be able to monitor communications of terrorists quickly and be able to do it effectively," Bush said. no, i can't make up stuff like this, and why there's not rioting in the streets blows my mind, and i'd be out there but .... i'm sixty-two years old and i'm so fucking arthritic i can't walk or scratch my ass without whimpering and weeping in the morning let alone pick my kids up out of their beds and get them ready to school they're not small boys and goddamn they're gittin' bigger ever' day and even tho' i'm so medicated for pain i'm slobbering on my guitars i'm about ready to shoot that shit into my eyeballs because whoever does get into the white house is going to have to clean out the fucking augean stables and that's not just your tired old historical literary metaphor because "worst" and his cronies have crapped up everything these busy little termites don't they ever fucking sleep? i hear he likes to go to bed early at the same time every night how does this fecal smear get the time to fuck up things so badly i guess he learned how to delegate when he was at harvard bidness skool good thing his edjimacation warn't completely wasted even though he mighta been mosta the time he never inhaled just packed his nostrils and sfinkter with peruvian marching powder and columbian instant breakfast and wouldn't it be nice to hear some discussion about how we're going to get all our paper back from china instead of pissing on folks who don't want to hammer a flag pin into the center of their foreheads and ...... hillary? barrack? what can i say about them? that you haven't already heard? hillary's able to piss people off, and i respect that in a woman, but .... barrack .... i wish, i just wish that he hadn't incorporated so many republicrap talking points into his speeches, and call me vindictive, call me shallow, call me vengeful but ..... how can he seriously think that he's going to be the one that will effect a reconciliation in this polarized country, a country that's been polarized deliberately and callously and with great deliberations by republicans who have turned hatred to their own ends, who have made an endgame out of being assholes and bigotry a virtue .... and besides, i want to see them all hauled up on war crimes charges in the hague ...... next: dr. pete stops dreaming tag:www.peterkaukonen.com,2008:/mt-static//1.194 2008-02-25T03:53:07Z 2008-02-25T03:56:10Z

we've been out of town for a few days ..... we thought we'd get some skiing in, and we did, but .... that's another story, for another time ..... still, it was great to be away: a very remote ski...

we've been out of town for a few days ..... we thought we'd get some skiing in, and we did, but .... that's another story, for another time ..... still, it was great to be away: a very remote ski area; a great room at the foot of the lifts; great conditions and ..... no news ...... i can hardly tell you how nice it was, not being bombarded by the little turdballs that comprise today's "news," nor can i really tell you what it was like to check my net news sources when i returned and go ..... oh fucking jesus .... nothing's changed; they're still at it ...... mccain, clinton, obama; bush; iraq .... yada yada yada ...... at least that's what i pick up on ..... i don't think that's what amurka and amurkans get ..... a couple of weeks ago we took the boys to a birthday party thrown for some of their young friends ..... do you know what the cornerstone of a three-year-old's nutritional regimen is? sugar .... lots and lots of sugar ..... every fucking holiday, every fucking party we take them to, they end up with by honest-to-fucking-god-i-weigh-this-shit-out-on-a-gram-scale-and-don't-ask-me-why-i-have-a-gram-scale-i-use-it-to-measure-out-spices-in-the-kitchen a minimum of two ounces of sugar ..... i've said it before: my kids don't eat sugar and they don't eat fast food and they don't watch television because we don't ..... oh, there's no doubt that they start acting like fruit flies with cocaine suppositories up their butts when they eat sugar, and that's about what was offered at this party .... jesus, i thought; why don't they just strap on a fucking feedbag and fill it up with cuba's finest? oh .... ha ha ..... i forgot; that's why we've had an embargo on cuba for the last forty-two years; united fruit was pissed off when fidel came out of the sierra maestra, and then --like now--government was an enforcement arm of major corporations ..... anyway .... the other thing that struck me about the kids' party was ..... the biggest fucking tv screen i've ever seen, taking up an entire corner of the living room ... and of course all the kids are mesmerized by it, as they shovel processed foods into their tiny busy little mouths and their bodies start to twitch ..... gee, that's great, i thought: now you can watch badly done animation pushing corporate icons bigger than ever before ..... anyway ...... the big weather came in the night before we left to come back to the bay area: high winds, lots of snow, and i mean lots of snow .... but i had chains, and the passes were open, so we started inching our way down from 8,600 feet ..... we made a potty stop at a little outpost and ..... the bartender and clerk were watching the weather channel .... did you know there's a tv channel where you can watch other people's weather round-the-clock? i mean, pornography .... watching other people fuck? for a change? i can hang with that but ..... the fucking weather? i could hardly get their attention, they were so focused on the snowscape in new jersey; tennessee; missouri; nebraska; michigan ...... finally i said, yo .... you wanna see some snow? why don't you just .... look out your window? and you'll see a shitload of snow .... and the string of emergency vehicles with the four cop cars and the five fire trucks and the two paramedics and god knows what else that went screaming up the mountain side because something godawful happened up there and i know you redneck fucks thrive on schadenfreude so tear your eyes of the twat who's making like she gets hot and wet when she talks about rain and writhes and wriggles when she talks about snow .... and give me the fucking keys to the restroom ..... ha ha .... they knew what i meant, all right .... ha ha ..... and ..... today i stopped to put in some gasoline which just by looking at the price i know that we're both winning the whore of tear-air as well as stimmulatin' the 'conomy because jesus fucking christ exxon must be having another barn-burnin' quarter and .... there's a fucking tv atop each and every fucking gas pump! what a country .... what a nation of fucking whores .... you just can't et away from the fucking television, can you .... and it's all advertising, you know? or starshit about angelina or jen and i'm waiting for y'all to tell me why i should give a fuck about jen let alone angelina's fucking pussy and what goes into it or comes out of it and these fucking things are loud, too, they just shriek at you while exxon is sucking the lifeblood out of your wallet and cars whiz by on the freeway and it's the mindless shrilling of snakeoil hawkers and an endless string of lying fucks and yesterday i went to the gym because it was raining too hard to bicycle i'll ride in the rain but i won't start out in a heavy rainstorm and there's that fucking tv again there's a whole fucking bunch of 'em they're strung all across the aerobics section and everyone in the gym with a few exceptions is staring like like a mouse looking into the mouth of an anaconda and the stuff that comes out of television it's like the stuff that comes out of my youngest kid's ass when he's got diarrhea like he does right now and when was the last time you drove out of the mountains with two three-year-olds preoccupied with bodily functions and the dynamics of elimination and one of them is perseverating on the word "poopy" it gives him a huge charge he likes it a lot and the other one's singing "rubby dubby rubby dubby" non-stop for one hundred and twenty miles they're like george bush aren't they small minds entertained by even smaller things saying the same meaningless things over and over and over but it means a lot to the one that's saying it "rubby dubby freedom democracy poopy poopy terror poopy freedom god poopy poopy poopy god ....." democracy .... ha ha .... ha ha ..... i can see why bush stumbles over that word; lots of sibilants, and young children have a hard time with siblilance ..... now, right about now you're wondering, what's the FUCKING POINT, dr. pete, WHAT'S THE FUCKING POINT? well, darlin', i'm not sure there is one but ..... one might be, don't head into the mountains thinking you're going to have a vacation and get a lot of kick-ass skiing done when you've got three-year-old twin boys ..... the other might be, god, television has got to be the death knell of intelligence ..... turn on a tv and people tune out .... why is it that you can't get a moment by yourself in this fucking country? with your own fucking thoughts? without big brother spraying black paint over your third fucking eye? because it makes you stupid and you don't think and the next thing you know, you're believing everything you're told and you think that things are great and that the system is working and .... gee ...... maybe i just answered my own question ..... ha ha ..... you're poopy! you're poopy! next: dr. pete wipes himself tag:www.peterkaukonen.com,2008:/mt-static//1.193 2008-02-09T18:36:29Z 2008-02-09T18:37:18Z

robert m. gates, sometimes referred to as "george's gerbil," tell us that our european allies, the ones that didn't approve of our unilateral, illegal invasion of iraq, the ones who support their troops by not sending them off to be...

robert m. gates, sometimes referred to as "george's gerbil," tell us that our european allies, the ones that didn't approve of our unilateral, illegal invasion of iraq, the ones who support their troops by not sending them off to be exxon mobil's private army, "confuse iraq and afghanistan because they opposed the "war" in iraq ...." gee, how could you confuse them? we haven't been able to find osama bin laden in either place, and we seem to be .... mmmm .... okay, let's just pretend we're not getting our butts kicked, not like we did in vietnam; let's pretend that, after six years of constantly winning the "war" we're still "winning the war," but .... we'd just like someone else to pay for it, and howzabout gettin' someone else's kids to die for it, too? moving right along, now ..... thank god mitten romney's withdrawn from "the race ...." he did so for our own good because, had he stayed in "the race," terrorists would have attacked us .... this is the same stretched logic that had him telling a reporter that his five sons were serving their country better by campaigning for their dad than going overseas to get their tiny nuts shot off in the "wars" he so vociferously supports .... besides, aren't the terrorists already in the white house? the navy, sonar, whales, and the afghani navy ... the navy wants to make lots of noise underwater which although it seriously fucks up what lives there things like whales and dolphins and porpoises and it's like tossing an m-80 into the toilet bowl where you've put all the goldfish they're not going to fare real well but we need to do it because the taliban has one fuckuva navy, they set sale from afghanistan and the next think you no thare big boats are floating off of san diego and they're having a fire sale on opium and heroin and they're undercutting the cia's price and we need to have a level playing field so fuck the whales they're too big to hug anyway and ..... the bush budget ha ha talk about being bushed that's enough to make you laugh isn't it he's given the military more money than everyone else's military budget in the world combined which isn't like those democrats they sure like to spend money that they've raised by taxes and bush he just likes to spend money and it's a good thing too because he won't spend any money on health care or edjimacashun and it doesn't include the money he's just giving to the military and what it costs to kill people i mean spread freedom and demokrasy over there wherever it is and i don't budget myhousehold expenses like that here's how much money comes in and here's what goes out but i'm not going to include what i spend on tequila or single malt scotch or oxycontin and ..... i see that there were tornadoes down in tennessee that kilt some folk .... was this god's way of expressin' his displaysure they been votin' for huckabee? mccain? or just votin'? is gawd pissed that they set their chickuns free? why haven't i read about gawd bein' pissed at people who vote? ever' tahm there's a daysaster sum asshole preecher comes out ta say it's god doon it cuz he hayts the fags or the daymocrats or the lezbikans or rational secularism or suthin' but i ain' heerd nuthin' bout this one 'n' i think it's an opportunity god wouldn't let pass by anytime you can level a trailer park is a good time and i'll bet fema's gonna get right down there because most of 'em are whaht peeple and hower things down in n'orleens haven't herd too much about it lately although the mardi gras was a real good party time they stacked up dead bodies on the floats ha ha get it the floats and ..... i hear philip zelikow, head of the 9/11 commission, spent a lot of time chit-chattin' with karl rove while the commission was been transpayrent and finding out the truth about the truth on 9/11 .... now i'm not suggesting that there were any improprieties here, not in an investigation of a pivotal occurrence in the history of america and the world .... no, i don't think any self-serving ass-kissing lying fuckheads would ever be allowed on a commission like that, and certainly they wouldn't be allowed to chair it ... why, the next thing you know, you'd be getting a bunch of illiterate superstitious ass-eaters on the supreme court who'd be fucking with the bill of rights, the constitution, and women's rights everywhere .... ha ha .... that could never happen here but .... i'ts been almost fiffty years since the cia i hit .... i mean, since jfk was assassinated and ..... don't you think that's enough time passing before you finally let the american sheeple in on the nitty gritty? every week i hear that the afghanis are growing more opium than ever before and it's funding the taliban ... how many times does this need to be said? they've always grown opium, but it was our tax dollars, through USAID, that taught them how to grow opium more efficiently, that taught them how to market it more efficiently, that taught them how to hit global markets so they could take their money and buy the arms that we made so that we could sell arms to the taliban a group that was initially funded by the united states for the sole purpose of killing invaders and occupiers excuse me i meant to say "russians" and when we went in there in the first place i said oh my god i don't think we want to do that there's never been a successful occupation of afghanistan the brits tried it plenty and got their tea drinking asses whupped and then the russkis went in and 15,000 russians were killed mostly in ways too unpleasant to think about and that was a major factor in the "fall of the evil empire" they spent so much money on a futile occupation just like we're doing right now that they couldn't afford to fucking breathe and just gave up and now everything in russia's privatized and there are three trillionaires there while everyone else in the country eats bed lint, dust bunnies, and dirt and ...... hey! it's now legal for members of the baath party to work in iraq's well-oiled ... ha ha ... ha ha .... infrastructure .... you know, those guys that were thrown out of office by paul "now can i have the oil and go home seeing as i'm bringing you dusky rugheads freedom which means freedom for oil companies and other multinational corporation to take their profits out of this devastated country without paying any taxes or putting any money back into it" bremer during his forty-five incredibly effective days in office as the satrap of iraq and yes i said satrap i didn't mean jockstrap but god that man was a fucking buttwipe no wonder he rose to positions of such prominence in a regime of total buttwipes does anyone in the media see the irony of this do they even point out why the baath party was outlawed in the first place one of the incredibly great moves that secured freedom and peace and endless profits for halliburton along with the disbanding of the standing iraqi army and ..... jesus i need a fucking drink! honey! won't you bring me that barrel of costco tequila? the one that i .... ha ha .... budgeted for? still, we're going to be safe from terrorist mexicans who might sneak across the border with a trowel or a garden rake or leaf blower clenched in their rotting brown mexican teeth thanks to the great wall of tijuana which will be built for a massive length of thirty-five miles watch out you heathen chinese so much for the great wall of china this one'll put y'all to shame and it'l be forteen feet high and it'll be built by mexicans who'll have to go back to nuevo laredo each and every night because we don't want them beeners in this country they might vote for hillary clinton and anyway they're taking jobs away from whaht mayun i have lots of whaht mayuns who wanna babysit my chilluns and rake leefs in my yard and trim the hedj oh i forgot about fiksin my ruf which lost some tiles in the windstorm god braught down on us to show us his displasure with there even been demokrats in this kuntry and ..... what about the economic stimulus? every time i hear that i can see myself taking a cattle prod and ramming it up some banker's ass: here, you bitch .... let's stimulate your economic prostate with a couple thousand volts and ..... boy it sure is a surprise how a french trader pissed away seven billion dollars why who ever would've thought there'd ever be any malfeasance or breach of fiduciary trust in the banking world and those frogs they sure are pikers only seven billion dollars that's just nothing why americans can lose eight billion dollars in one week just leaving it on pallets in the streets of baghdad who knows where it went oh who cares who's counting anyway that's fiscal responsibility when you're a republican but not a penny for education or healthcare and you know the problem with the homeless it's that they don't have homes why don't they get a job and buy theyselves a fucking house it's the amerikan dreem why when banks compeet you win ha ha and you know banks are always compeeting they'd never rig rates would they and now more than ever is a good time to get an adjustable rate loan and buy yourself a house will re-fi for food ..... how did it happen that 19 guys, most of 'em our saudi allies, managed to fly some big planes into some big buildings but there was no warning and no indication even though the fbi had a bunch of 'em under surveillance and there'd been a presidential briefing entitled "bin laden determined to strike in the united states" which must have been some kind of code for "hold the mayo on my filafel but extra cranberry sauce please" and all of a sudden every american citizen has become a suspect of something or other i know we're all guilty of something that's because that bitch eve had to eat the apple why are we still paying for that but does that mean at&t gets to watch me perform cunilingus you thought i was a performer on guitar ha ha and now they go through your mail and listen to your phone calls and know what you take out of the library and what your porn preferences are when you surf the web because what else is the internet for other than to watch other people do it for a change and of course smell your feet when you get on a plane oh i forgot toothpaste there's a weapon of mass distraction for you that and shampoo my god how prostate and gamble's profits have gone up what with manufacturing small tubes of toothpaste and itty bitty bottles of shampoo that yew'll try and turn into nukular bombs when you slip into the lavatory to have a smoke which is really against the law and there's no toilet paper in there anyway and someone pissed on the floor or maybe in the sink any airline lavatory is a biohazard and superfund site these days because airlines aren't making enough money i think we need to level the playing field again and give 'em more money like a stimulus package bend over here it comes zap zap zap zap zap and ...... forty five billion dollars profit for exxon mobil which is 1600 dolars every second i don't think they're making enough i know they pay less in taxes than i do i think they need a superstimulus package and a rebate and ...... now can i wake up? because there is no intelligent life here ...... next: dr. pete gets obtunded ..... tag:www.peterkaukonen.com,2008:/mt-static//1.192 2008-02-07T05:03:26Z 2008-02-07T05:12:32Z

i'm much too tired to be shrieking, what with the final victory of potty training looming on the horizon; yes, we're rounding the corner; we're in the throes of victory; we've turned the tide; we're winning now; we're close to...

was a syphilitic poodle ..... but you know, for years and years and years and years, white guys voted for white guys and nobody said dick .... and now voila! suddenly major portions of the sheeple are trying to make their bleating herd .... i mean, heard ...... but hey .... if voting really worked, it'd be illegal ..... no ... ha ha .... just kidding, of course ..... the catchphrase of the day seems to be "change," to the point that even republican hopefuls are mouthing it .... huckabee wants to change the united states into the theocracy that the founding fathers pictured, with a fetus under every pillow, voting .... i never thought that was what the founding fathers had in mind, nor do i know who the founding mothers might be, but what's life without a little mystery? mccain wants to change into slim pickens, riding the h-bomb out of the b-52 in doctor strangelove, while romney? he probably wishes he could change his mind ..... for one taken from a syphilitic poodle .... you know me: i'm old and tired and crotchety and embittered but pretty darned cute when you get right down to it, and i just don't think that whosome-ever's gonna dance into the white house, wave a magic wand, and a-la-ka-BAM! we'll be out of recession and there'll be a cure for cancer especially 'cause all the superfund sites'll finally be cleaned up 'n' we'll set all the chickens free 'n' the lion'n' the lamb'll lie down together peaceably and snoogle up and ..... then i woke up! no .... ha ha .... i haven't gone to bed yet ..... but maybe there is just an energizing, a shift in energies, the dawning of a new age of hope, a breath of fresh air, like opening a window in the abattoir, like hosing down my diaper pail, like ..... because .... at the very least .... we're reaching the end of eight bushed-up years ....... now, i know the democrats can snatch defeat out of the jaws of victory, i know they can really bush things up, but ..... i'm not going there ..... not yet ..... i'm going to bed ........ next: dr. pete rolls over]]>